The Grail Pirates Hijink
by LKADity
Summary: Tired of battles without a winner, Grail-kun took 5th HGW cast to whole another dimension to create more chaos. Not even the sea king, marine's admiral or pirate's warlord could disturb their daily life. Well, what could possibly go wrong after the worst? (Carnival Phantasm crossover) [One-shot?] [Semi-Crack]


**Warning : My writing is bad, English not my native language so it sucks, my grammar barely acceptable because of Grammarly. I got no beta, editor or what-so-ever. **

**Disclaimer : One Piece owned by Eichiro Oda and FSN is one of the best Visual Novel's world/universe IMO. Cheers for Kinoko Nasu.**

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Slice of Life is genre of my life

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**[Kitchen and Dining room]**

"Hum~ hum~ hum~"

Shirou Emiya, a 17 years old healthy boy wasn't stranger to the weird thing. Adopted by a magus father, involved in moonlight world and last but not the least became a participant of war among mythical famous legend already dulled his sense of normality, not he even a normal person in the first place.

After died by stabbed in heart, suddenly the bloody deathmatch turned into your usual evening tv show. He didn't complain in the slightest as this way there won't be any casualty _except for person wearing blue-thighsuit_ so it's fine. Although he almost spent all of his saving and legendary sword Calibur to win one of the race, it still worth it.

But maybe the organizer of the events aka Grail-kun was bored of the stale match, so without warning suddenly he gathered all the participant and announce that everyone was going to spent time for a vacation on the cruiser. Although it was tempting, this is Grail-kun afterall, so everyone really having a second thought, except Caster who totally lost in daydreaming and gave a _shoujo-like_ sparkle.

Their prediction came true after all, bypass the law of Gaia and Alaya, now they board the Black Galleon made of Grail-kun itself in another world. Mysteriously the high-class interior was so different from menacing outside appearance, lest the black flag with jolly roger of Grail-kun.

There were many things happened after they arrived here but as many people said, human is quick to adapt so now they basically doing their daily activity like how they were in Fuyuki before.

"With this lunch is ready." Said him to no one as he turned off the stove.

He then loosened the apron and clean his hand before going to call everyone to have lunch.

#####

**[Main Deck]**

His first destination was the deck, more precisely the blue-haired guy who wear mismatched Hawaiian shirt and jeans.

Feeling his presence, Lancer then glanced toward Shirou and greeted him.

"Boya, is the lunch ready?"

"Yeah, actually I was going to inform you that"

"I see, well thanks, I'll go after I claim my prize!"

The prize Lancer mean is something he was reeling with his rod right now. Granted it was unusual for his bait to bitten and even it did… it never went right.

And now probably the same.

"OHH I GOT YOU!" he shouted as he jumped back and pull the rod.

Then the prize showed itself, on another end of the hook, there was a sea-king, which totally not calm at all.

"WOOHOO JACKPOT!" then Lancer summoned his spear as he prepared to meet sea king attack.

Only for an arrow beat him and shot through the sea king's head.

"Oi bastard, why you steal my prey?" Seeing that, Lancer then growled toward the person on the bird post, tanned bowman who wear red mantle over his black armor underneath.

"Haa… you sure annoying as always dog" Archer then jumped down as he dismissed his bow.

He showed smirk toward Lancer displeasure, before going stoic after his eyes met with Shirou.

Shirou also mirrored Archer expression and met his gaze. He didn't know why but he totally unnerved by Archer even since the first day he saw him.

Shirou also the first broke the silence.

"Lunch is ready Archer." He said without emotion, unlike when he was with Lancer before.

"I see." Although he didn't say anything else, his face could be read as 'Your cooking still below me boy'

'Just wait, Archer! someday I will beat you in your (cooking) game!'

Seeing Shirou and Archer like this, Lancer then let a sigh "Hey it's hurt to be ignored ya know"

#####

**[Upper Deck]**

After getting two of the most incompatible servant in their party, Shirou then ascended to the wheel-deck, where he found Rider and Assassin(Fake) playing Go in front of the wheel that got Rider's nails attached on the sides, which connected to the chain.

Feeling he shouldn't disturb the peaceful atmosphere, Shirou tip-toed silently and sat on the empty space of the table between them.

After some minutes of playing "It seems it my lost Rider"

"No, your play is beautiful Assassin(Fake). Even I win the battle, you win the war"

"Is that so? My, your flattery is as beautiful as your face"

Rider didn't comment to Assassin(Fake) tease, but Shirou swore he saw her face darkened a little. Then both of them turned toward their spectator.

"Maa, I will get Caster and her master, I strong enough to take some of her spell afterall hahaha"

"… I will get Sakura-sama and Rin-sama"

Shirou knew by the experience, how upset Caster will be when anyone interrupted her **time** together with Souchiro and you can expect a wild Gandr hit you if you broke Rin concentration.

"Thanks, you two" Shirou feel grateful to the most calm-minded pair of the crew.

No further word needed as they stood up and going separately.

#####

**[Illyasviel's room]**

His next destination was one of the crew room, even from the corridor, he still heard the sound from the room.

"Moo Berserker! Don't hit him with magic, use physical attack instead!"

"▃▃▅▅！"

As he opened the door, he saw both of occupant of the room in the middle of playing games called Destiny/Extra. It sure a sight for sore eyes to see of Cute 8(18) years old little(older) sister Illyasviel. Also, there was awkwardly Berserker who didn't fit with the girlish room.

Shirou also could tell the controller on Berserker's hand was already on the verge of breaking so he noted in his mind to take another controller later from the storage room.

Even Ilya room was at same size as her room in Einzbern castle yet it able to even though look smaller from outside. He already not thought about it since a long ago, probably Grail bullshit power, same as how this ship has brick and electricity even though it totally looked like a galleon from outside.

He didn't dare to use his structural grasp as he got feeling he about to open the can of worm if he did.

"Moo berserker you suck! I told you to,- ONII-CHAN!" acknowledge his presence, Ilya then jumped from the couch to Shirou's arm.

"Hi Illya, lunch is ready" thankfully he reinforced himself first before Illya tackle hit him. If a normal person took it, he 100% will get a broken bone.

"Mu onii-chan, don't you have something to say before it?"

"Ah, today you are cute as usual Ilya" he said while patted her head

"Ehehe~" she then let herself fall from his arm "Berserker c'mon! take me to the dining room!"

"▂▂▃▃▅▅▅▅!"

Berserker than picked Illya up and began to run… while impossibly pass the normal-sized door.

Seeing that Shirou could only shake his head while going to last and not-so-liked place.

#####

**[Church]**

Shirou stood still in front of a very familiar double door. No matter how many he had visited this place, he had to steeled himself everytime he went inside. He then opened the doo,- "Yorokobe Shounen!" ,-r only to closed it again.

"Don't trace caliburn… don't trace excalibur… don't excaliblast him…" he murmured to himself.

Then the door opened again, but this time Shirou wasn't the one who did that.

"Emiya! Why you closed the door again after you dare to interrupt the sermon!" said Shinji Matou. Even though his words harsh, his expression said otherwise 'THANK GOD YOU FINALLY HERE!'

"He-hello Shinji, also hi Kirei, it's time to lunch"

"Oya? It's time already? My time sure flies don't it?"

"Hahaha yeah, totally flies father Kotomine!" Shinji awkwardly laughed.

"Hmm let's end today sermon here then."

Aside from Shinji and Kirei, there were another person inside the church, the golden-haired proclaimed-king who was totally-no-sleep while wearing eyes-like blindfold and Assassin(True) who silence still.

As Shinji wakes up Gilgamesh, Shirou saw Hassan gratitude nod before disappear. As expected of Assassin(True), he can't detect his movement at all.

From his peripheral vision, he saw Kirei approached him.

"Young Emiya have you consider my offer? I believe you will become a quite devout believer you know"

"No thanks, like I always said, I got other things to do rather than hearing your sermon"

Kirei only smirked "Then also like always, I shall patiently wait" then he passed Shirou.

Shirou the let a sigh escape his mouth "Let's get back to the dining room"

Shirou began to leave the church too "OI EMIYA HELP ME WAKE UP THIS GOLDIE BASTARD" while ignored Shinji like usual.

#####

**[Dining Room]**

When he back to the dining room, he saw the foods already placed on the table courtesy of Archer and Lancer.

He also noticed two people who weren't here when he went out but also the first one to arrived, the ahoge owner and the enforcer, as two of them already sat straight in their proclaimed exclusive chair and wield dual handed spoon and fork on the respectively right and left hand. Don't forget about their shining eyes.

"Shirou you are late! Sit quickly so we can start eating!"

"Yes yes Saber"

He then walked toward his seat, which between Saber and Rin. After he sat, Lancer and Archer also followed his suit. Even if not mentioned, this already became a habit to had lunch together with everyone.

After confirmed everyone presence Shirou then clapped his hand together followed by the others

""Itadakima,-""

*BOOM*

Just interrupted by narrative conventions.

##########

**Hina the Black Cage POV**

Hina was furious. Yesterday his crew tricked by Mr. 2 who unexpectedly helped Straw Hat pirates. She thought they were enemies, but it proved otherwise, maybe it got something related to Crocodile defeat?

But she didn't waste any time after captured the fake, one of her lieutenants reported they found the next destination of the straw hat. So she and her crew spent the night to went ahead of them and prepared the ambush.

The ambush success and now three warships were bombarding the pirates and yet, by sheer tenacity they still managed to defend their ship.

Hina then massaged her frown 'Relax, in we won in the war of attrition. Soon or later their stamina will be spent under this continue bombardment'

Her prediction also came true, slowly but sure less cannonball being reflected/sliced/kicked and one or two started to hit the ship. But at the same time, it suddenly appeared.

A black galleon class ship just poofed from nowhere in the middle of firing range… and tank'ed the cannonballs.

At first, Hina shocked but she regained her calm after saw the black sail and Jolly roger

'If its another pirate then fine'

But the bombardment stopped, which made her shouting "Why you all stopped!? Keep the shooting the cannon!"

"Bu-bu-but miss Hina it-it-it it's" one of the commanding officers completely shivering. As if he just met his biggest nightmare

"It what!?"

"It's the Famous Grail pirate!"

"Grail pirate…?"

She then inspected the jolly roger and her face showed horror when she saw the mascot-like drolling rainbow flag. Her mind wandered to the moment she still a lieutenant under her retired captain.

"_Listen Hina, if one day you met a Black galleon with this… __**unique**__ flag, don't shot, just run okay" Her captain showed an image of particular jolly roger. What made this flag unique was the skeleton was drolling a rainbow._

_Hina discipline had proven itself as she didn't let a chuckle even a bit. "But why captain?"_

_"Because it is the famous Grail Pirates"  
_

"_If it pirates then why we are running away from it?" confusion appeared on Hina face_

_"This pirate is not your usual pirates." The admiral then lowered his volume, Hina almost missed it if she didn't put all of her focus to him. "It just between you and I, that pirate could stand against attack from three marine's admirals and seven warlords together."  
_

"_Wha..,-"_

_"And also, there is a rumor about the four yonkou had tried to fight only to steamrolled by them"_

_Hearing that Hina only made a blank face then she found something was not right._

"_If they are that powerful… why this information not made public?"_

"_The higher up also unsure about the accuracy of this but it seems, they able to disappear and appear everywhere they want."_

"_everywhere.. could it be!?" Horror now masked her face_

"_Yes, they had appeared in the middle of world nobles. Also, there is some report of sighting local marine in outside Greenlane"_

"_. . ."_

_"But the most historical, is they appear in the middle of the marine fort while marines and seven warlords had a meeting"  
_

"_Could it be that their objective all along?"_

"_I don't but the result of their fight? You can say the casualty surpassed than when Shiki fights against Admiral Sengoku and Vice-admiral Garp"_

While her crew was preparing to bail from this place, she swore she saw a figure appeared on the deck. Whoever it is, her gut feeling told her he/she was dangerous with capital D, so she ordered her crew "QUICK! GET OUT OF THIS WATER BEFORE THEY DO SOMETHING!"

She saw the figure suddenly bearing black armor, then he/she hold his/her sword in a position to swing.

Hina was not a religious person by any mean, but just this time, she prayed with all of her heart. "God please help me"

"EXCALIBUR, MOOOOOORGAAAAAAAN!"

Wave of panic filled the running crew, some of them even began to piss on his pants but how could she blame them? To see a black blast heading their way.

##########

**Grail Pirates POV**

At the sight of intruder shipwreck, Saber Alter(Temporary) proudly huffed her cheek and walked back to the dining room. She got no mercy against people who interrupted her meal, moreover before she even began eating.

When she entered the dining room, she saw the food already replaced with the new one (courtesy of Shirou and Archer) and Shirou already waiting for her in front of the door.

"Saber, you toned it down right?"

"Ofcourse Master, there is no need to unleash the full potential for them afterall"

"That's my girl" He said while patting her head. She wasn't a child for fck sake, and yet she didn't brush it.

"So be a good girl and sit okay?"

"If you say so" she said as she sat on her seat. Slowly the black part of her dissipate and climaxed with her ahoge sprung to life.

Seeing Saber already turned back, Shirou follow her suit and redo his greeting "Then everyone"

"Itadakimasu!"

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**A/N : Well, in simple term…**

_**Me : . . . **_

_**Sane part of my mind aka Logic : I thought you said you didn't have free time at all?  
**_

_**Me : well you see... There is something had been bugging my mind since a while... So... You know the drill**_

_**Logic : I though you already prepared to finish that project before wasting time again. Who is the one keeps procrastinating by spent a whole week to play new FE games? **_

_**Me : uhh *trying to hide console* my roommate? **_

_**Logic : No, it's you. Then do you remember why you don't have any free time?  
**_

_**Me : umm, the project? **_

_**Logic : That's right. Lastly, now hear me, and fucking hear me! When is the deadline? **_

_**Me : *sweatdropped* next month? **_

_**Logic : IT IS A FUCKING NEXT WEEK YOU FOOL! WE NEED TO GO PROD ON TUESDAY! *beat up the realself***_

_**Me : Man, I must be crazy to get beaten by part of my mind**_

**Life still sucks, at least the new FE game totally worth it so it better in comparison with the last month. Probably should update my fic rather than throwing this useless thing but, meh. Commitment and I already divorced without a chance to rekindle so, probably will focus on making One-shots rather than not-updated ongoing fic.  
**

**Thanks for reading this scrap fic guys.**

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Edit 19th August 2019 : Fix minor formatting issue


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